SWEETsuicideLOVES

Wednesday, January 28, 2009
;
7:05 PM
it's too late to turn back.
how i wish none of this happen.
right now,
i'm missing him like crazy.
haven seen him for like 1 weeks 4 days.
i know being like this isn't right at all.
but...but i just can't help it.
can't get myself to stay happy this few days,
putting on a fake smile.
wondering what he's doing now,
wondering how have he been.
maybe he's happier,
maybe he's better.
i don't know,
i kept thinking about him,
and my mind just wouldn't stop.
went seeing a movie called " bride war" alone just now,
and guess what throughout the movie my mind was full of him ,
past flash out and i realise things are different now.
im seeing a movie all alone without him by my side.
he's no longer there,
and he wouldn't be there anymore.
he is not coming back, never.
just why can't accept the fact that it's impossible between us.
just why am i unwilling to let go.
just why am i doing all this.
from the start if i never given all those attitude,
maybe we will still last.
i just hate myself for ending everything.
i really hate myself.
i destroy every single hope.
because of my stupid attitude.
well, for your info i'm not trying to make people console me,
nor am i wanting to be the main character.
-
-
-
tomorrow morning going market alone,
buying ingredients for brownies,
and yes i am trying to make brownies.
its the beginning og something new.